Letters in plentitude were exchanged, allowing meto learn of your birth. Exchanging each of our stories, yet we could notbe together. And then the letters from her stopped, it was only throughrumour that I learned of her death by horseback. Nobody thought meworthy of that knowledge, instead they kept me away. I could not returnto see my love on her way into the next world, I could not return raiseyou, I could not return to name you on your name day, I could notreturn."This last fierce utterance broke the spell of rapt attention in whichthe child had listened to the story and into the silence asked, in voiceas low as father's, "Why? Why could you not return?" I always though it was jealously. Jealousy of my wife who could notstand to allow me to love, who would beg her father to keep me banishedto the frontier. He would listen, for she was always spoiled by him, yethe too I believed held jealously towards me. Yea, though he commandedfleet, it was I who led the men to victory while he. "Mom I don't know how I feel about this. I enjoy being a guy. Who knows,if they can put my brain in a new body - we can't be that far off fromfixing paralysis." Jason, this option seems like a good here-and-now fix. You'll get yourlife back-right now! We won't have to wait." Son," my dad hadn't said much since this circus had started, "yourmother is right. And please, I know this sounds selfish but since we'refaced with a choice here, consider this - your paralysis will be amassive burden on our family."That hurt but he was right. My dad never shied away from a point andthis was a definite one."You'll be good as new. We can make some adjustments around the housebut things will remain largely unaffected," he added."I just, I don't know. I'm a guy. I like guy stuff! I think girls arecute and enjoy eating large amounts of food," I protested slightly but Icould see this was a losing argument. "Plus the thought of being with adude like that is insanely gross. I'm not gay. I've never looked.
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